if only

When I got home, you were waiting.

I opened the door and you were there, your sexy smile warming up the room like sunshine in a land long bereft of summer. You were bare-chested, clad only in a pair of comfy cotton slacks, and you came up to me and effortlessly lifted me off my feet.

We spun round like two giddy little kids, and I laughed in delight. When we stopped, you held me in your arms for the longest moment. I felt the sinewy muscles of your bare arms, the comforting strength of your chest, and was safe.

Safe…warm…and loved.

Then you kissed me. Sweet, long, and lingering. I kissed you back with all the love, the hope, the longing deep within me. Everything I’d kept bottled up inside, I poured into that kiss, and I knew there was no turning back.
(more…)

one moment

Aimless thoughts.

They pound inside my head like the constant dripping of water on the roof.

I cannot be like this. I cannot welcome thoughts of you and your fair face. I am of the dark, while you were borne of that obscene light. We are two warring beings, never to meet in peace.

You said we can conquer, we will triumph, because we are blessed. Because we have love.

And I wavered.

A single speck of hope.
A tiny glimpse of bliss.
One moment of fantasy.
One.

And then truth fell on me.

Darkness is my world.
Despair is my destiny.

Love was nothing but an illusion.

Go back to the sinful light from whence you came,
as I once again sink into the shadows of my fate.

–  © 2006-2007 stefmjm –

faded memories

It’s a sad thing, to be forgotten.

It’s like you never existed, you never were. Like dust blown away by a none too gentle wind, scattered and lost.

Perhaps lost forever.

And you? Are you lost to me forever?

Gone are the days when our moments together seemed just like yesterday. I can no longer remember the color of your eyes, or the way you styled your hair, or how your lips lifted up in a smile. My memory of you is like a faded photograph; a vague face, discolored clothes, a fuzzy background – nothing more.

The sound of your voice and the words you spoke to me are now mere wisps of smoke inside my head, trailing away into nothingness.

Soon you will be just a name to me, a name without a face, a bunch of letters that rings distant bells in the farthest corners of my memory.

One day the bells will ring no longer, and you will become nothing.

I will have forgotten you…as you have forgotten me. And then, finally, we shall no longer exist to each other. Two people who never were.

So be it. In oblivion I take refuge.

– © 2005-2007 stefmjm –